dirty star trek jokes

They're studying him." All Star Trek jokes are allowed. 98. Q: What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one? 2. 1. Share Your Pick Up Lines KIRK SR. = THOR. Red Alert! I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. Thank God Im not a red shirt, because youre drop dead gorgeous! For millions of people, Pokemon represents the best childhood can offer. Before he was Thor (2011), Chris Hemsworth played James Kirks father in the opening minutes of 2009s Star Trek reboot. Q: What is Thomas Riker's dating philosophy? It had good Genes. A: Its by: Ima Doctor and Nada Bricklayer. A: Captain, we are being hailed.. How do you say where is the bathroom in Klingon? Are you usually this honest when youre turned on? Gul Dukat is a recurring antagonist of the space station, shifting from former captain, to supreme Cardassian commander, to rebellion leader. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? On the eleventh pain of Christmas, Chuck Norris sent to me Eleven skulls a-cracking, Ten guns a-shooting, Nine combat kickings, Eight tears a-sulking, Seven teeth a-spitting, Six punch a-hitting, Five painful swings, Are you Skynet? Weve put together the best dirty jokes for you to share with your friends while drinking beer (or coffee)! . Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. When Star Trek: Discovery came out in 2017, it was announced that the series would only be aired on CBS new online streaming service, CBS All-Access. Must be because she likes giving head? Aside from the concept of Pine and Hemsworth potentially being related, this meme is also remarkable just because of the thread of celebrity that connects the two film franchises. A: When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals. Captain James Tiberius Kirk, played by the inimitable William Shatner, holds such a curious place in Star Trek lore. Travel and Backpacker Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. Look over the list and be ready to share it with your friends. Laugh Your Way Through the Galaxy With These Funny Star Trek Jokes by Eric Russell - 17 Mar 2022 Star Trek is a well-known franchise that has captured the hearts and minds of many people for years. Discovery needs to fill viewers with more hope for Burnhams journey. No one would have understood the reference at the time, but Keeping Up With The Cardassians would have been an appropriate title for the events of DS9. Q: How many Borg does it take to change a light-bulb? Click me to show the form! I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: They have engaged the Borg. Ideas for the top 101 Star Trek humor jokes were taken from the following sources. 28. 96. Have fun with these jokes. Before he was Thor (2011), Chris Hemsworth played James Kirk's father in the opening minutes of 2009's Star Trek reboot. While you are on it, check out these jokes! so you can help wipe Klingons off Uranus. Sewing, because Captain Picard is always saying Make it so!. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? When i have you in my sensors range, my plasma conduits goes on fire. Q: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married? 22. 31. Ill never look at beef stroganoff the same again! sunsinstudios 9 mo. 24. 72. Discovery is an advance of the entire canon, an attempt to evolve the series to ride the mainstream of audiences today. And, below is a compilation of our favorite fan responses: Twitter Responses: @chennessybooks wrote: How do you stop from falling out of . A: Execute it for failure. This sounds a lot like a date rape. Q: What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one? Here are some more of our favorite movies and characters quotes: most iconic Star Wars quotes, funniest Star Wars jokes and timeless Yoda quotes. He is into geeky male joke topics. A: Hoisted by our own Picard. He says they always cum in handy. He had a one trek mind! Q: What is Captain Picards biggest pet peeve? Q: Have you read the book Damn it Jim? 75. 46. No, it is clearly you who makes my blood boil!). (Love is a battlefield, and today, I am a warrior! I hope he finds Winnie the Pooh and not poop! 70. Q: What happened when Yeoman Rand complained that someone had cut a peephole in her cabin door? A genius! Eating with your mouth open is such an eyesore. 64. ), Klingon Pick Up Line: pu' tIHmey bach'a' mInDu'lIj? 53. Is Star Trek your favorite show? Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Cats keep trying to cover them up. In the world of chaos and hardship, Star Trek would take your mind off everything. What would Captain Kirk be called if he wrote poetry? A: They have engaged the Borg. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? The funny part is that it holds up pretty well. Star Trek Jokes jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_5945_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_5945_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[3]Star Trek FAN FRIDAY: Your Favorite Trek Jokes jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_5945_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_5945_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[4]https://www.astro.umd.edu/~avondale/extra/StarTrek/STHumor/STjokes.html jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_5945_1_4').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_5945_1_4', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[5]reddit Star Trek jokes!! ", "So Lieutenant. Captain, we are being hailed!. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Ferengi is rubbing his sore, red cheek. Inspiring Quotes About Life I heard this from a friend when I was in 3rd grade. Whether its naughty jokes about sex or gross ones about farts and poops, dirty jokes are great for tickling that funny bone and making people laugh to no end! Try trifling with tribbles. And thats what a woman doesnt want to hear while having sex. Q: How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: Have you read the book "Chekov: The Navigator"? It's a film from the 1960s and onward with intense mental and emotional impact. Q: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can? Edit: Well I now have an entire repertoire of Star Trek jokes! (My armor shields me from knives, but your eyes pierce my heart! 54. A: Worf Speed. No matter if you . The Enterprise encounters a spatial anomaly and merrily ignores it. Unlimited Data. Kirk: Bones, that man is choking! ghobe'. Just as soon as I perfect my William Shatner chest costume. "Captains log" flush. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: The Captains Log, 56. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Before fans complain about too much lens flare on the most recent attempt at modern day Star Trek, remember that production complaints could have been far worse. A: Because they thought he would make a good ad-VISOR. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Q: Have you heard the new Klingon army motto? 71. Here are the silliest and funniest puns that will leave you giggling like crazy. No better place to try it out so here you go What does toilet paper and the USS Enterprise have in common???? Other notable actors who guest starred in Star Trek include, but are not limited to: Kirsten Dunst, Ashley Judd, Seth McFarlane, Sarah Silverman, The Rock, Famke Janssen, Teri Hatcher, Kelsey Grammar, Jason Alexander, and Iggy Pop. Animals Moderator list hidden. Asia 91. Engage. 35. A: Mr. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do. Q: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married? A: Ones the real McCoy. If you want to spice up your knock knock jokes, why not make them a little dirtier? 13. Hey baby! They shook hands and walked together in the long corridor when suddenly the Pakistani said. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. These Star Trek pick up lines are perfect. What is Commander Rikers favourite hobby? Q: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked Why did you let Troi win at poker? A: Because I Riker.. On one extreme, Odo and Sisko represent the different extremes of goodness in the Trek universe. #101 - 90. Did you hear about the Klingons plan to wrap the Enterprise in silver paper? Ill show you my docking bay if you show me your ship. 55. 37. Family Friendly 30. Picardi and Kirk. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? And if you're a family of Trekkies, you're going to love our ultimate collection of the best Star Trek jokes in the galaxy. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Amanda was patiently waiting Did you hear that Kirk is getting married? A: They both circle Uranus wiping out Klingons. How do you stop from falling out of a Bird of Prey? McCoy: Damn it, Jim, Im a Doctor not a oh, yeah right. When Star Trek fans go to a convention, they always get a gift. Chicken Spocks! ago. How does a Romulan frog stay camouflaged? Have fun! Thanks to Star Treks enduring pop culture presence and constant success, the full franchise is a good yardstick for special effects on television. Q: What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan? Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "aaf5f343fab00dddce4478b5f5a6afc2" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 58. In Star Trek: Enterprise, a Ferengi crew attempted to rob the NX-01 ship. Over the course of three seasons, this trend claimed 43 crew members. Yoko Odo. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: They were Stonned. Q: Why was Amelia Bedelia afraid when Picard said that he wanted the Enterprise to be spotless? That's never happened to me and I've been telling this joke for 42 years! Both were swept up by forces too big for them to understand when they were really young. A: Trills and spills. Real warriors arent afraid of the dark! 90. No matter if you like them or hate them, you'll like the jokes about Ewoks! Add some fire and spark into your love life! He cracked up. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Q: Have you read the book The Positronic Brain? Why was STAR TREK so successful? He uses a croaking device! What are glasses called on planet Vulcan? I'm going to ask you out. Baby, youre hot enough to jump-start a Vulcan's pon farr. Hot. Even if youre not a Trekkie, youll laugh out loud at these hilarious Star Trek jokes! Wanna create your own hilarious funny Memes? Q: How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree? A right ear. Q: What did Picard say as Data struggled to repair the Marclosian Stitching Machine? Fans of Stranger Things may have noticed that the enigmatic super powered girl Eleven has a few things in common with Seven of Nine, the Voyager fan favorite. 15. 27. A: A BElanna split. Vehicle Spring A: It's by: Anne Droid Why did Riker die from friendly fire? Engineers! A: Mr. Data: Why is a barn yard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous? 13. Live Long and Prosper. That sounds like a sticky situation! 45. Kids love a classic joke, and even better if it's tied into their favourite film or TV shows. Klingon Pick Up Line: bIQamQo'chugh, chay' qapummoHlaH? 92. A dirty joke is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline. A: All of them! Holding the show together all along, adding ballast to Kirks unflappable Captain, is Nimoys Science Officer. A: Wave to him. I guess you could say I'm stuck between a Spock and a Picard place! I'm a doctor not an farmer! I cant help it my eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your breasts! Since the joke was told off screen in the Pilot, and only the punchline is told in Generations, we will never know what this joke was. 11. Winter Please mark your joke as NSFW and/or spoiler if it is NSFW or contains spoilers. asked the recruiting officer. He said he was going to put it into the "Worst Joke of the Day". Be it T. Star Trek is one of the most iconic movie franchises out there. Food These tunics represent security and engineering officers. 34. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? Did the earth move for you, or are we sitting on a Horta? Q: What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull? The male captains wandered around aimlessly getting into trouble. A right ear, a left ear, and a final front-ear! Pandemic Spocktacles! A: To conquer the other side. A: He thinks theyre too shifty. Use the force. Q: What is Commander Rikers favorite hobby? You have to Klingon! Unlike similar science fiction movies, this has elements of space opera. (If you won't stand up, how can I knock you down? ), Klingon Pick Up Line: che'ron 'oH parmaq'e' 'ej DaHjaj SuvwI' jIH! This meme proves how difficult it is to display true science via television. 38. If you don't come home with me tonight, I'll die. Funny /. A young man was applying to join Starfleet: If youre feeling brave and want to tell jokes that will get peoples attention, telling funny dirty jokes is the best way to go. Wave to him! Star Trek Dad Joke. Everybody respects their doctor, but this show made a habit of elevating their physicians. A: "Stop Molly-coddling her." Q: What would you get if Dax's family were waiting tables on rollerblades? The two stand today as an example of two alpha males able to do their jobs in their own, very different ways. "All of me, sir." 73. 4. Enterprise-class Federation ships cruise between fractions of warp one, or impulse power and they top out somewhere between Warp 9-10, the point where the space-time continuum begins to get a little shaky. A: Counsilor Troi: I knew it was going to happen. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Q: Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert? A: Spocktacles. What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch that made them red and itchy? Ah canna work miracles, Captain. 25. Science Friction! People just don't get it anymore :(. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Q: Why was Verad unfit for joining? Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! He would boldly go where no man had gone before. Q: What did Odo say to Quark? Australia Life can get pretty dull if you always play it straight. Q: What do you call a friend of Picards first officer? 1 comment. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? Short Star Trek Jokes A: He never forgets a phaser. They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons. That wasum42 years ago? Drs. Treks never been about special effects, really, but its still nice to be able to leave the pet dogs behind in the 20th century. By putting science front and center, not ignoring it or being afraid of it, the actual scientific facts become irrelevant. But its also impossible to ignore the effect he had, even if his attitude toward women and his reluctance to opt for diplomacy before aggression tend to get swept under the rug. A: A Floor Tom. If I have a son I will name him Data, after Mr.Data from Star Trek. Yeah, so anyways - I thought you guys would appreciate my original Kahn tent. Sports Star Trek Puns . [1]Jokes 4 Us Star Trek Jokes jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_5945_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_5945_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[2]Quick, Funny Jokes! you know the proper Vulcan greeting and response

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dirty star trek jokes